Every single place where the human eye can reach, is invaded by at least one commercial ad. Becoming as a prevalent mental pollutant and saturating the human brain of information which in many cases isn't relevant. If we take a look of the amount of marketing messages received daily we can surprise and notice how absurd it is becoming. An estimated of 12 billion of ads we perceive daily and stifle our mind, via radio, TV, interactive screens, billboards and so on.
Is usual prepare a vacation plan where we can relax and be apart of the technology for some days, but on the way we find many billboards which are inviting us to enroll in a cell phone company, or telling us that now we can buy almost everything online, pay facilities from your cell phone via internet, get some discounts on computers or electronics in a specific store, and so forth. At the end of the day we ended up feeling the necessity to use even the cell phone or at least the radio changing the purpose of the trip, as if there was a subliminal message hidden in the ads. it's completely true that marketing is really important for business and for us too, and we cannot change it, but is also true that we have to start thinking in how ridiculous is this situation and give the correct relevance to the real important things which is the peace of mind, suggesting to businesses just think on give space and place to peace with appropriate billboards in calm place.
Jennifer: I really like how you understood the meaning of the piece (that ads are "toxic") and responded to it with a call to action ("we have to start thinking...."). I also think your examples support your point well. Good job!
ReplyDeleteMy suggestions would have to do with summarizing and attribution, and with grammar.
Summarizing/ attribution: notice that nowhere did you mention the title of the piece you were responding to, or its author. You need to make sure the reader can easily separate the author's ideas from your own. Check out the bottom of page 2 of your packet for one possible way to do this.
Grammar: your first language is interfering with your second language every now and then. For example, you are missing the "it" in "it is" in a couple of sentences. Also, you are having trouble choosing the correct verb form in sentences such as "If we take a look of the amount of marketing messages received daily we can surprise and notice how absurd it is becoming." My suggestion is to study the explanations and do some of the exercises on verbs under "Writing and Grammar Links" on my blog.
P.S.1: When you revise this response, you may want to visit the Writing Center or have a classmate help you check the grammar.
ReplyDeleteP.S.2: To put the blog entries back in order, go to Blog 2, open it by clicking the little pencil, click on "Post Options" at the bottom of the window, and under "Post date and time" select "Automatic." Publish the post and voila!